I can t

Missunderstanding is easy. Now I feel like I can t tell you what I think and it s slowly killing me inside... But if I told u I am sure you will missunderstood so I choose to write and try to forget about it.
I hope someday I will have the courage to tell you what I feel...

Story

It s been more than a couple of months since I haven t wrote anything... well my dear readers all I can say it is that I was very busy and many stuff happened.
I think that studies took me more time that I had imagine. Like now I have exams and a lot to study...
Anyway my point is that I have a lot to tell but not right now :D
And if you are wondering about lovelife all is wonderful. I have someone in my life that understands me and completes me :X I promise I will start writting again after I finish with the exams .And now I go back to study ...
                                                     XoXo
                                                                               LuZ

BREAK

OK IT'S TIME FOR THE REAL DEAL
I BET I WILL WRITE LIKE MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY BEFORE I AM GONNA BE LIKE 30  :))
I am kinda trying to figure it out... either I want to move on or I want a part of my past back. That is why I AM CONFUSED ! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE ! At least my present is ok. I know what I have to do. But my future and past are trying to knock me down.Together they are almost unstoppable. Thank God I AM a very ambitious person and I know my priorities. Till I choose I say to u all BE CAREFUL . one single mistake and ur whole life is ruined ! or a bad decision can mark negative ur whole future. So I want to think 10 times before I decide. Byeees for now and have fun my lovelies <3 p="">

Carinio :P

Daca reusesc si asta... sunt cea mai tare ever :))
In fine trebuia sa fie o postare in engl dar parca dulcele glas al romanei ma cheama :D
SPer ca de acum incolo totul sa fie ok si sa reusesc sa inving rautaciosii sa le arat middlefinger la haters :D si sa iubesc in continuare ca la inceput ?.>> ca o copila inocenta <

Cam putin azi
de spus
Bottom line ?
Nu pot si nu vreau sa uit 
vreau acele amintiri  in viata mea si cu asta basta xD 

Ciaaaaaaaaaaaaaao
Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahs 

The Night of the Deja-vu's

Here we are again :) Trying to let go of the memories that marked my existence... but it is soo hard when u realize that the past keeps coming back and haunts your present. I think I found a way that allows me to store in a box the memories which were for many years unforgettable. It seems a bit strange when I see that many people which were the leading actors of the memories are somehow still in my life or they got kicked out of my life by me :D or they just had to leave and make room for better moments with more greater people :)
  My life somehow is starting to create a straight path and leading me to the final destination of a stage that finishes after a while and then I realize that there in the corner on a bench is someone waiting for me and telling me that she/he waited for me a lifetime. That sounds strange I admit even for me :)) BUT i guess Not everything has to be like I want and I know life is full of surprises. Maybe sometimes we have to try creating our own place of happiness even though is not real :) Life is most of the time hard, misterious and very complicated o.O .And I think that is the fun part where you see that complicated is not always that bad as it sounds. Being complicated is an art, having a complicated life is common and trying to eliminate complication from your life is a really though challenge.
ANd yeees The Deja-vu part.... I always have the feeling that someway or somehow I already did that or already saw that. It is strange and it;s kind of  mind blowing. At least for me it's sometimes frustrating to realize that  I might already done that. It's a waste of time ! And life should not have a repeat button . oh well maybe when u need to clear things out you need the repeat button but otherwise... nooo! 
The DEja-vu that will always reamain a mystery in my life is that one when I was in the 9th grade and I thought I Was actually dreaming although I was very non-sleeping .It happened very quick like a flahs-back and it will always be a mystery for me... I think for the other person was very real :D and a very common memory but for me was strange and happened in an instant it was like time had a forward button :D
I hope life will start treating me like a VIP person :)) and offer me the stuff that I still don't have .
Oh I almost forgot... About that person which I thought was special. He turned out to be very common and thinking very convinient only for him but that is ok because I realized He didn;t ment much in my life. He was just another one.Didn't had the power to take control and gain a piece of my heart and making sure he will  stay there for ever :D I guess now I am gonna stick with the guy that showed me he is always there for me no matter what:) He really deserves my attention :) That;s why I decided I am gonna give him again the key of my heart :D 

      Good night dear reader :D :*

Changes

Should I risk it all for a moment of fake happiness ? I am not sure that a moment can erase years of trust and understanding...
I have never been afraid of changes. I accepted them and adapted to what was next. I made one step at a time and all went well. The complications that appeared made all so different...they forced me to take decisions. I have chosen the right way but not the right people. But I was wise enough to see what they really want. I was disappointed for a moment when I saw their true intentions but I moved on and very easy walked out of their lives. Now they tell me that they want me back and realise how wrong they were. But guess what I am NOT coming back. The past is history. All that matters is the future.

 

LEAVE YOU :))

OK sooooo I have to say something :D
I like meeting new people :D
And I met some people that are sooo crazy :O
They thinlk I am like them :D
But I am not
I AM THE TYPE THAT WILL NEVER LEAVE SOMEONE IF HE PROVES ME HE DESERVES ME :)

GOOD NIGHT
I MIGHT GO OUT... OR NOT :))

 

After 2 years... :)

Changes

So many things that influenced my path... persons that came into my life for a short while and persons which keep remaining and make all seem bright.
I think it's time to realize the facts that I accomplished :)
I have an amazing journey to the land of the Happy ones :). With every step I feel like I am getting closer :D
That's why I say don't look back and keep moving forward. You will never know who is waiting for you at the end. :) It  might be that guy that u never saw or they guy that you haven't seen in a while. All I know is that I CAN do it :).

Ok Enough for today :D
You really needed an update :P



 

College

Is the third day of this month and third day of college..:) Everything went well t'ill now.I met some new people which soon I think will become my friends :) I don't have much time to write.That's all.I'll try to keep you updated :)

Bagaje :D

  A sosit si momentul asta :D
  Il asteptam demult.In sfarsit o sa fie ceva de genul Just us and the road :X.
  Acum ma gandesc cat sa fie bagajul de mare :)) dar oricum nu cred ca o sa iau foarte multe lucruri doar asa cam cat sa fie de o valiza :))
  Meritam din  plin aceasta pauza :) mai ales ca ceea ce mi-a zis acum cateva zile mi-a demonstrat din nou ca stie ce e mai bine pentru mine.Cu privire la acel subiect chiar nu ma asteptam la o reactie atat de buna.:) Dar iata ca nu inceteaza sa ma surprinda intr-un mod placut :) E foarte reconfortant sa stii ca ai o asemenea persoana langa tine si ca ai parte de sprijinul sau neconditionat.Asta e unul din miile de motive din cauza caruia stiu ca pot avea incredere in el. :D
  Ma bucur ca am depasit atat de repede acea sa-i zicem "mica-mare" neintelegere.Dar asta numai conteaza acum.Tot ce conteaza e prezentul si viitorul.
  Ma duc sa mai vad ce imi mai trebuie pentru bagaj.:D
  Byeeee :) 

Trust the voice within

  These days it's all about choices.I have to choose from a lot of posibilities.I am a bit confused I would say.I think it's the first time when I have to take a lot of decisions in the same time.
  The others don't give a damn about it and just go with the flow.Well I am not a part of "the others".Anyway the are going to regret it in the end.'cause they didn't thought twice.
  I know what I have to do.I know that I might not like what will happen but I trust the inner voice.I have confidence that I'll choose right.
  And about these hot days...I don't like them!Too much heat.I want rain!I realize that I looove rain!!! :X and I don't like very much summer.I prefer spring :)
  I know I haven't wrote for sometime but the truth is that I have been extremly busy.Maybe the next month I'll write more.T'ill then enjoy the evening . :)

 

Days of summer

Tocmai acum realizez ca nu am scris nici o postare pe luna asta.Nu sunt in cea mai buna forma, cel putin azi.Sper ca maine ma voi simti mai bine.
Nu am mai avut timp sa scriu.De fapt de abia am mai avut timp sa intru pe calculator .:|
A fost si inca mai este o perioada aglomerata.
Nu prea mai am chef de altele.De abia astept sa se termine perioada asta tampita cu examenele.
Cam atat ...deocamdata :)
Sper ca voi putea sa scriu mai des luna care vine.
Bye :)

Last call

It's the last day of spring.
Today was the last class with our beloved Gography teacher.It was an full hour of pure emotion.But because now I am stronger than ever, I didn't cryed :D.I felt like 4 years ment just one hour.Time passed so fast...
Now I want to look forward.A party is waiting me tomorrow :)).The thing is that now it doesn't matter anymore.The past is being left behind although is screamin' -Take me with you- .But my answer is no way.I had enough regrets.I am now using the saying -The future is now-.I like to belive that.
So, I am now a highschool graduate.(unofficial)
The interesting part was that now all that you say it can be used against you :))
I saw the looks and all I can say is -desire- .I didn't wanted to belive but now that I know that I am cool about it I see things much clear.But it doesn't matter cause I am not interested :)
About other subject...the friendship that I offered you was undconditional.The fact that you didn't figurre it out it means that either you didn't knew that or you acted like you didn't knew.Don't worry I am sure you will find people as mean as you are :)
And us...well we are ok and I am sure we will be the same for a long period of time my dear
 LA LA  Love :P   

  

First fight

It was awful.It felt like a tornado.It changed my mood in just a second.
I think we had to experience that so we could move forward.The funny thing is that as fast as we fought as soon as we rencociled.:) And all made sense again.
I know that it wasn't our fault.The problem was that we had a terrible day.But we are strong and we made it trough.
For me it's clear as water that I don't wanna repeat the experience.And i have a feeling that we won't argue again...at least not so soon.
When I think it better I realize that we acted foolish.It was necessary...I think.
Now is ok.Hate didn't appeared which is good.Maybe it was a bit of anger but it was because of the things that happened that day.I am happy that I didn't lose control and I acted properly.Although they deserve what's worse.That's what i thought.But i forgive them...not entirely.It's hard to move forward after you've been trough something that changes your way of seeing things.
All I know is that I am a human being and I have the right to feel upset when things are not how I want.

And in what concernes Him...well I am still somewhere between present and past;You just don't let me to forget.But the feelings are not a problem anymore.NOTHING it's what I feel.

Timp

Timpul e ireversibil.Oricat de mult as vrea sa-l dau inapoi sa prelungesc acele secunde si sa le fac in minute,minutele sa le fac ore, orele zile,zilele ani...nu se mai poate.Sunt unele momente pe care nu as vrea sa le uit vreodata.Insa sunt si clipe de care nu mai vreau sa imi amintesc.
Chestia cu timpul nu e o revelatie.Dar pot spune ca e o constientizare mai profunda.Imi dau seama ca nu voi mai sarbatori implinirea celor 19 ani vreodata sau ca nu il voi mai vedea vreodata pe "The one who's name is anonymous".
Si cu toate astea timpul s-a oprit de vreo cateva ori in loc...si atunci cand s-a intamplat a creat una dintre putinele amintiri pe care eu le numesc memorabile.
Nu e vorba de iubire.Ci doar de faptul ca imi dau seama ca nu am timp suficient.Adica pentru mine niciodata nu e timpul destul.Mereu vreau si mai mult si si mai si mai mult :D
Dar nu sunt certata cu timpul.Cu toate ca imi pare ca trece foarte foarte repede si ca uneori de abia ma lasa sa respir, cred ca am suficient timp pentru lucrurile importante.Doar ca pentru cele mai putin importante nu prea mai am timp...si chestia e ca lucrurile marunte ma fac fericita :)
Nu as vrea sa "duc la absolut" :)) chestia cu timpul asa ca fara filosofie :D
Just ME MYSELF and I   ;;)

Cam atat pentru ca simt ca nu am puterea necesara pentru a scrie despre sentimentele care ma framanta...ceva nu ma lasa si pana  nu ma lamurec ce anume prefer sa las lucrurile undeva suspendate in aer :D

Si o melodie care la mine e pe repeat ...

19 primaveri

         Sunt fericita . :) E un sentiment atat de minunat aceasta fericire efemera...e ca si cum m-as simti capabila sa fac orice.Este o fericire aparte.Simt si constientizez ca exista un echilibru aproape perfect intre intuitie si rational.Ceea ce este de--a dreptul grozav. :D
         Recunosc ca este "o altfel de fericire ".Nu e ca atunci cand te indragostesti si simti ca plutesti si ca esti foarte fericit.Deasemenea nu e nici ca atunci cand esti fericit pentru ca  ai terminat un proiect si  ceilalti iti recunosc si apreciaza munca.Tot ceea ce simt si gandesc formeaza "o altfel de fericire ".Pur si simplu radiez pe dinauntru .:D Este ceva intens si foarte placut.
Si cand stau sa ma gandesc ca am cautat acest "amalgam de fericiri" atat de mult timp...dar iata ca astazi s-a intamplat.:)
Astazi e o zi foarte speciala pentru mine.Se implinesc 19 primaveri de cand exist :D .Da stiu suna cam pompos :)) Dar n-am ce face :D Sunt atatea lucruri care s-au intamplat ; e incredibil cat de rapid a trecut timpul...parca mai ieri fugeam de gastele amenintatoare cu gatul lung :)) care ma speriau atunci cand eram mica foarte mult.E uimitor cate amintiri s-au strans, cate lucruri am realizat.Parca totul e un film.Unul doar despre mine si oamenii importanti din viata mea.:)
       Parca as scrie incontinuu .Dar o sa ma opresc pentru ca ziua de azi =PARTYYYYYYYYYYYY :))
       Sper sa am timp sa mai scriu pe blog dar daca voi avea acelasi program-slabe sanse.
        Byeee :D

Si o dedicatie pentru mine :))   -IT'S MY BIRTHDAY !-  :))

Voi :)

A fost chiar bine.Poate ca mai mult decat bine :) Se pare ca uneori aparentele inseala :D .Dar per total a fost totul in regula mai ales voi pe care ceilalti "va considera" intr-un anume fel.
Cam atat :D

It's complicated

That's how my life is now in these days.I try to make it simple but I end up being part of something more and more complicated.It's difficult to face a lot in a very few time.The pressure is becoming with every day that passes more higher.I think I handle it very good t'ill now...but something changed.Actually many things changed.And not exactly in a good way.It seems like a serious change.It happened I guess when  we began sharing the "luv-hate" :)).Wonderful!Now I am making words :))
Anyway my point is that I feel like I don't have time for the things that in the past I was doing them very often.Now it's just school school school but somehow I managed things t'ill now and I just can't wait to graduate :D.It will be awesome to obtain high grades at the exams :D.But I still have a bit more time t'ill then.
So I am going to try to fix the "complications" :)) which can be repaired.
And about you...hmm I think I finnaly have nothing to say too you :) which is bad for you and you know that but  I don't care :).It's time for me to be selfish and forget about"what people might say''.
               

  Sometimes you are so shallow...

Schimbare :)

Este  1 MARTIE :) .Calendaristic vorbind e primavara.Doar ca e primavara cu zapada :)) .Of zapada...cata bataie de cap ne-a dat tuturora!Eram nerebdatoare si imi doream sa vina primavara cam de pe la sfarsitul lunii Ianuarie :D.
Oricum chiar daca pe aici pe acolo mai e ceva zapada ,primavara isi face simtita prezenta cu ajutorul razelor de lumina foarte puternice.Azi este o zi frumoasa.Este deasemenea o zi care m-a facut sa-mi dau seama ca m-am schimbat :).M-am schimbat in bine.Nu este o schimbarte radicala.Pur si simplu simt ca e ceva diferit.Ma simt altfel.Am inceput sa am cat de cat rabdare...ceea ce este WOOOOOW :)) uimitor :)).Am o alta perspectiva in legatura cu persoanele care ma inconjoara.Gandesc de 2 sau 3 ori inainte de a face ceva,lucru care rareori se intamla inainte.Si nu este doar impresia mea.Sunt persoane care au observat aceasta schimbare si care se bucura pentru mine :) (persoanele apropiate).
In alta ordine de idei...se pare ca "umbrele trecutului ma urmaresc permanent "(gen "co-workers" stiu de ce :)) ) nu mai sunt atat de multe.Parca dintr-o data au disparut si nu mai reprezinta amintiri.In acelasi timp am realizat ca anumite persoane nu mai fac parte din prezentul meu.Acum le asociez doar cu trecutul.Sunt persoane pe care stiu sigur ca nu mi le voi mai aminti foarte bine peste cativa ani .DE CE ?Pentru ca vreau sa ramana in  trecut.Asa simt ca trebuie sa fac.Instinctul a devenit in ultima vreme ghidul meu .Ceea ce este cam anormal pentru ca eu mereu actionam datorita gandirii rationale.Iar acum...ceva ss-a schimbat.Eu m-am schimbat :)
Tu nu te-ai schimbat...din pacate.Inca faci lucrurile si le alegi in functie de ce spun ceilalti.Dar oricum nu mai conteaza.Fie ca iti place sau nu acum faciparte din trecut.Oarecum...
Ceea ce  conteaza momentan sunt EU SI NUMAI EU.Stiu ca poate suna putin egoist :D dar asta e.



Cam atat :D .SI VA UREZ TUTUROR O PRIMAVARA EXACT ASA CUM V-O DORITI :)

 

Scrisoare

I changed my mind about it.
Aveam de gand sa scriu aceasta postare in legatura doar cu mine, dar asta nu se va mai intampla datorita faptului ca unii au o imaginatie extrem de bogata :)) Plus ca asa calomnie nu am mai pomenit!
Faza e ca nu s-a luat atitudine.DELOC!!! Am ramas uimita cand am vazut ca a preferat sa nu zica nimic.A lasat lucrurile intr-o ceata totala desi i-am cerut sa lamureasca situatia.Si chestia cea  mai tare e ca se pot intelege multe lucruri din aceea refeuzarea de a lua atitudine :)) Dar inca nu mi-am inceput scrisoarea.Nu inca... :))
                             


                                            Scrisoare catre ..."efemeritate" :))




    Tu iti dai seama cat rau faci ?Ai idee macar de ce sunt lucrurile asa cum sunt momentan/si de ce s-a ales sa fie lasate asa?Nu ...bineinteles ca nu !Pentru ca daca ai fi stiut ai fi stricat si mai rau lucrurile :)) Ideea e ca nu ai dreptate.IN NICI MACAR O PRIVINTA. Pur si simplu iti place sa iesi din decor si ai face orice ca sa ai parte de atentie.Uneori te pretezi la lucruri mult sub nivelul tau.Si de data asta ai rastalmacit lucrurile atat de rau in cat chiar nu mai stiu ce sa cred.Dar stiu ca vrei mai mereu sa fii in lumina reflectoarelor. Dar asta e problema ta.Putin imi pasa de fapt chiar deloc.De ce ? Pentru ca uneori nu meriti nici macar o privire!Asa ar trebui sa te tratam cu toti si poate asa o sa-ti dai seama ca nu ai voie sa-ti dai cu parerea despre o situatie sau despre actorii principali ai unei situatii cand tu nici macar nu stii detalii despre situatie sau "actori".Tu pur si simplu zici niste chestii total aiurea.Si se pare ca nici macar nu ai observat subtilitatile prin care de fapt ti se spunea - "Cine esti tu ca sa-ti dai cu parerea despre mine?Nici macar nu ma cunosti 0,0000000000....1 % !
     Asa ca te sfatuiesc sa-ti vezi de ale tale si sa nu mai afirmi ceva ce nu poti sustine cu probe daca nu materiale macar verbale.


    P.S Aparentele inseala. & You don't know a thing about me                                                      
              

                                                                                                       Cu multa....seriozitate
                                                                                                                     L.L.C